I have a confession to make....
It is super hard for me to make a confession about anything, but I know it’s time to start fessing up.
My confession….I was not a very good student in high school. All I wanted to do was skip out of class and hang out with my friends. Leaving school when my parents thought I was in school, didn’t always work out for me. Sometimes I got caught and oh boy, did shit hit the fan at home.
You see, back then, as kids, many of us were a bit afraid of our parents and what they might do if we got caught doing things we know would get us in trouble; I was one of those kids. I certainly did not want to face the consequences or wrath of my dad, he put up with no BS.
My grade 12 year was one of the hardest times of my life. Pressure to go to class. My grades were plummeting. I had mixed feelings…I dreamed of being one of the first in my family to go to College. But how would that even happen? I did not like reading or even math for that matter and I was so shy I could hardly speak to myself; the conversations were short.
I did make it through grade 12, after many parties, hangovers and hard tests I barely skinned through. So, what did I do, I enrolled to go to College to become a Social Worker (What the hell was I thinking?). After 4 short months of College I just could not take it, so I went to work full-time for a major Corporation, landing a great job! Just lucky, I guess.
You know the funny thing was, my job required a major learning curve. Ha, ha, karma.
I had to go into class to learn how to do my job and then, almost every year, take one course after another, just to stay up with what was going on and be able to move onto better jobs.
At the age of 28, I was so lost. I could barely hold a conversation at work with my coworkers and would go to parties on the weekend, sit there until I was drunk before I would speak to anyone and even then, the conversation was very one-sided on their part. I decided I needed to quit being so afraid of myself so I enrolled in a public speaking course at the local College. It changed my life.
I found my voice, went on from there to take courses every semester for years and now I am the biggest nerd when it comes to learning new things. I absolutely love reading, writing and learning new things every day.
You see, it was a process for me, but one course changed me like I had never been changed before. Let me take you back for a minute to the first class in the Public Speaking course. The instructor was a super nice guy and very patient. He knew his stuff and knew how to get people out of their comfort zone. All he asked from each of us was to stand up and tell the class a bit about ourselves.
Terrified, yep that was me.
When it came to my turn to stand up I almost fell apart. I stood up my legs shaking, my hands shaking and my voice cracking. I was visibly nervous but that was nothing compared to the extreme sick feeling I had inside. I thought I was going to hurl, before I even told them my name.
I stood up slowly, said my name and mumbled that I was a mother of two and quickly sat down, crying like a baby. Yep, crying like a small child who had just been spanked for opening her mouth. The instructor was in shock. He had never seen someone so afraid to tell people about themselves.
That first 15 seconds on my feet changed my whole world. I almost did not go back, but with very positive encouragement from the instructor after the first class, I did return. Week after week went by, I found my voice and the courage I needed to start to say what was on my mind when I needed to.
That was my learning.
It takes courage to start to learn and love it and you never know what you will love.
From that class, I went on to find the courage to leave my first marriage and change my job, but that’s another story for another day.
Without taking that Public Speaking class I never would have become a Financial Planner, Instructor of youth and Adults, Entrepreneur, speaker and a writer.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned in my life is don’t judge anyone by the way the look or act. You never know where they are at internally.
A friend of mine once said to me “so many people judge what is internally going on within themselves, compared to the external they see in others and think they will never measure up.”
The external of anyone can look one way and be something else entirely. Measure your success on your own yardstick, not someone else’s.
Now you know about my big confession, I was a terrible learner and so shy, I didn’t even speak out loud to myself!
Learning is a journey, why not start exploring what might just change your life one day.
No more excuses. You can do it! Your friends and family are waiting for you to find the courage inside to become who you are at your best, and show up as that person everyday.
So, learn something new today, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and tomorrow, and DON’T LET FEAR STOP YOU!
Now it’s your turn…leave a quick comment below on how you overcame one of your biggest fears….I would love to hear from you and so would others…